Euphoria - messed up

Yes , this night has been more of an Euphoria to me , loved him so much , the feeling of ecstasy he gives me is really too pleasant calm and intense , its just too hard for something big as love which is felt more when expressed more to be compressed into something that is small sweet and very intense .. but he just does this so well and i get it’s intensity jus more than needed too lol..

I just wish i could love him like this forvever .. but i messed up again wid my stupid questions... uff gotta fix thm... 

Pinnacle of anguish

Though there was this feeling to let him go -to set him free for his peace of mind, there i was at the pinnacle of extreme agony, sorrow and distress, just couldn't bear the thought of dreams being shattered all over again, all i wanted was for me to let me love him for eternity and yes got inclined towards his immensely lucid love and tender care for me , just wanted it throughout my life by letting me be his soul mate, is there something wrong with me desiring or dreaming?

a'int I supposed to dream ? or I just dream about the most impossible things ?.. whatever, I just don't know why things don't simply work out for me, i am not complaining , just too perplexed about everything around me

.

I don’t know why I must be the one to sacrifice things all the time , why cant someone just sacrifice something for me ? am i not worth anything at all ? vexed up i am , am i just too naive and thats why i am the person to be deserted all the time ? here i am – in a dilemma of whether or not to to tell him what i feel and what i want , will that even make any difference ? should i be expecting him to value all this even though he has done alot for me that i can never repay ? but i do think he knows it , he must be knowing i really love him alot , and it’s just not easy for me to get throug

h him , what the hell! I just got in love with him and its already departure time ! i wanted this love to be a never ending and ever lasting one ! why why why ! hush-hush fathi ! why is he quite even after he knows so much about me and also about what he deeply means to me?

Doesn’t he understand that i need him more than he needs me- more than anyone could ever need him ? doesn’t he understand i admire everything he does n says ? i am just impressed and inspired by him all the time- doesn’t he know this ? doesn’t he know i consider myself indebted to him forever for the support and companionship he gave me during the worst of my times ? i really want to do something for him , anything that he would desire for i am just ready to give him anything as long as it is possible for me, but i just don’t know what he wants, i just wish i could be his fairy who will grant him three wishes and he gets anything he wishes for , but that would still be very much inadequate, God i just want to give him what he wants – something that will last with him foever or till eternity , but how will i know what can i do for him ?

If he does know all this and still remains silent ? Does this show that he isn’t interested in this , if thats the case then it just don’t want to take the biggest risk of losing him now by speaking out about my feelings for him , oh God ! i cant even think of it actually, well but if he is interested and there is someother reason then whats the trouble ? nothing at

all ! i am ready to wait forever actually then what exactly is his problem? .. seems like there’s just no use asking so many questions to myself , may be he is just incoherent himself about all this, i must not

force either .

Well i’ve tried and am getting over that anguish actually , i am more than just tired grieving over the catastrophes of my life, and i am going to converge my deligence on the vivacious side of my life and move along with the flow , life is just beautiful to those who wanna see its beauty and i am really dying to see the beautiful side – my

family, my friends and most of all its him who makes me feel like i live in Shangri-la, no matter what goes on , life has just become so divinely beautiful since Jan 14^th , enchanting life – with him – in my heart forever is what i look forward for from now..

Fantasy come True

This Blog here is completely dedicated to the one person in my life, whom i wanted with me for eternity, but had to relinquish so that he had an enduring tranquillity that was in its evanescence as long as he was with me.

 We started with regarding each other as the best of friends ever, in fact much more beyond it, a platonic relationship it was, that is what he desired for and it made its way through our relationship so deep that we found love for each other ,but pure it was and will always be.

  I have always admired him for everything especially his humility and modesty, his extraordinarily amazing philosophies have also impressed me , the depth of almost everything he says and does is so immensely beautiful , sometimes I really fail to explore that depth – come on he is just way too matured and wise compared to the guys of his age and definitely a lot more than me as well. He knows he is phenomenal and calls himself alien for that matter yet his humility stops him from accepting these praises and also from getting carried away by his exceptionally lovely character.

However, my endless love for him wants me to persistently adore and cherish him even during his absence in my life as the aura of his companionship still encompasses me all the time.

He is this one person whom i felt really warm and secure with ,yes there were people around me during my hard n rough times , however I’ve never felt so comfortable , so happy and so blissfully blessed ever with anyone except him, and the most astonishing part about this whole thing is , I’ve never ever met this angel ! Never met him in person! it's not like the usual love stories where you have your lover lurking around you all the time ,but his words were no less than anything one could say in person cause i don't know how- we just feel and sense each other 'just like that'!.

Hence, here I am treasuring the epitome of a flawless character, the Paragon of purity, humility, true care and much more, words to describe him would just not suffice , it’s a great feeling in my heart to talk about him , saying that he is the best person i’ve come across in my life or calling him the most wonderful person living on earth and anything of this sought would just add up to many of the under statements i’ve made here in the process of giving a description for this blog titled ‘ Treasuring the Paragon’ – of my life that is.

  Love has to be immortal, and he are undoubtedly worth more than an eternal love, i just wish all the lucky charm in this world smiles and shines for him all the time ,I Love You Coldy , Forever ,and i don't anticipate anything in return for this and that is for sure.